I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
