She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
