I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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