So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
