That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
