This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
