You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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