and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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