All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I FOUND THE LEGS
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
