Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
