Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
