Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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