i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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