Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
