I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
