don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
