is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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