She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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