Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
