I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
