Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
