and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
