never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
