why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
