Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
