their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
