If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
