Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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