my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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