Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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