Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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