I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
