She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
