I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize