what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
