I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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