So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
