we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
