i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
