you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
