SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I will pee on everything he values.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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