For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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