That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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