She's JV to your varsity
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
