Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
