He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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