IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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