Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
