He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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