Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I could fuck to npr.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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