she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
