i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize