I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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