I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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