Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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