Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
