Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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