Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
