It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize