i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize