I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
