I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
