i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
