she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
