i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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