I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
