He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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