I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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