sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
