Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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